Hope for Dogs and Their Owners Who are Allergic
When a puppy and someone with dog allergies coexist under the same roof. Otherwise known as what I’ve learned as a first time dog owner and how I’ve managed my allergies thus far.
Let me back up. I’ve had pet allergies my entire life, and I also have a fiancé, Tim, whom I love very much and whose greater life picture has always included a dog. In order for us to keep the relationship we both treasure so much and have a dog in the home, we’ve had to make some compromises, and I’ve had to be vigilant about managing my allergies and keeping myself safe.
After 2 frustrating years of discussions, tears, trialing dogs in our homes, numerous adoption agency visits, and feeling more despondent by the day, I was ready to welcome a furry companion into our family and finally put all of this behind us. In April, Tim and I drove out to Flint, Michigan where a litter of 10 puppies were being fostered. We got to spend an hour with the puppies and get a better feel for their temperaments, personalities, etc. After much deliberation and fussing over who was the cutest, we ended up taking home the only one in the litter who eagerly crawled into our laps no matter where in the pen we moved to. She was our girl. We took her home and on the ride back, we decided to name her Jellybean.
We’ve had Jellybean in our home now for 4+ months, and it has been a roller coaster of emotions. We’re learning a lot, and our hearts are so full of love for her. As someone who once thought it was impossible to own a dog, I wanted to offer some hope to those who so desperately desire to add a fur baby to the family that it’s possible. Even with severe allergies.
Of course, I am not a medical professional so do talk to your doctor and perhaps an allergy specialist who can help you find the right way for you to manage your allergies. It took me the better part of 2 years to finally get on the regiment I’m on. While it’s not bulletproof, it’s a significant improvement and allows us all to live comfortably in the same space. All that said, here are a few things I’ve learned and some ways I manage my allergies.
What I’ve Learned
How to Do Nothing
After work when the house chores are done and I’m finished making dinner, I resign myself to the couch to read or doom scroll. More often than not, Jellybean will come to sit with me either right on top of my stomach, in my lap, or in between my torso and arm with her head resting on my armpit/shoulder, rendering me immobile. Not wanting to disturb her peace, as it’s usually the only time I get some respite from her high energy, I am learning to do nothing but just lie there with her. I soak up the silence and let my mind wander while petting her head. It is one of those ordinary moments that brings me extraordinary joy.
Getting Out of the House
Puppies require plenty of exercise typically in the form of daily walks and playtime in the backyard which means I also get my daily walks and steps in. If not on a walk, then we’re in the backyard playing fetch with toys, kicking the ball around, chasing her out of the garden, or blowing bubbles for her to pop. Tim takes her to the park near our house where she likes to play in the sand and meet other dogs. In the day-to-day, it can feel like an inconvenience to load up the car to go to the park, but in the long run, I know it’s good for us to get out of the house especially in the winter when we can become real hermits.
Diminishing Patience
I am not as patient of a person as I’d hoped I was, particularly if I’ve had a challenging day at work, haven’t slept well, or feel like I’m not getting any downtime or quiet time. She has worn down what little patience I already had. My impatience rears its ugly head when she won’t behave how I want her to, when I can’t read her mind on what she wants when she’s whining, or when she eats the potatoes and peppers growing in the backyard. In an ideal world, she’d walk without stopping so frequently, come when we call her, know that eating cigarettes and gum off the streets isn’t good for her digestive system, and entertain herself a bit more. Because most days I just want to cook in the kitchen without her sitting at my feet hoping that I’ll drop something or eat in peace without her whining and begging for food at the table. I have to remind myself constantly that she is just a puppy, she’s still learning about the world and adapting to a new home.
To Appreciate What I Have
Jellybean excels at making me stop to smell the roses. Literally. As a puppy, she is still learning to walk, and most recently, it seems her main priority is to stop and sniff around at every patch of grass or any bush with colorful flowers or big leaves. It is a reminder to pause, take a deep breath, and just let her explore. If she stops to smell some flowers, sometimes I’ll bend down to her level and smell with her. She has no idea what I’m doing, but I get a kick out of it. She reminds me I have more than I could ever need and want in life and to be grateful for that.
Unfit to be a Mother
To all the mothers out there raising babies, kids, teenagers, I bow down to you. You’ve got the most challenging job of every one of us on Earth. I’m not built or suited for motherhood. Having a puppy in the home reinforces that for me. We can’t compare dogs to children, but all I know is that I’m in awe of how much attention, energy, and affection they need when they’re young. It’s all Tim and I can do some days to make sure she’s fed, gets daily walks and pets, drain her energy levels so she’ll sleep through the night, and take care of ourselves in the process too.
How I Manage my Allergies
Off-Limit Spaces
In discussing getting a dog, I had to fight and make it clear that I needed spaces in the home where the dog was not allowed to roam. That included my office and the bedroom. She isn’t allowed to sleep in the bed with us. This was and is a way to keep myself safe so I’m not miserable all of the time, and I have a place to go where my allergies won’t be triggered so badly.
Meditation
There are numerous occasions in a week, even in a day, where I lose my patience with her, I’m overwhelmed by how much time and energy she consumes and the constant attention she demands, or my allergies really flare up. When I’m running on fumes, I have to take a timeout. I’ll go into my office and meditate for 20 minutes. That is my solitude, my time to recenter when there isn’t anyone or anything competing for my attention. I can just be and forget about everything happening on the other side of the door. It’s a great way for me to recalibrate and give my body a break.
Medication
On top of the common allergy symptoms like itchy eyes and a runny nose, I also have really challenging asthma symptoms. Double whammy. In order to manage all of that, I’m on a consistent rotation of Claritin and Flonase to manage the allergies, Montelukast and emergency inhalers to help with my breathing, and I’ve been getting allergy shots for over a year now. I can’t say that the allergy shots have helped at all. Honestly, I think it’s just a fluke, a money grab, an empty promise that they could be the cure to help reduce symptoms. I don’t see myself continuing shots into 2023, but it could really help someone else so it’s worth looking into.
Call In Reinforcement
Having a puppy in the house now means it takes more organization and planning if we want to take trips or go out for a date night. She already spends most of the day alone when we’re both at work so we can hardly leave her at night too. That often means that Tim and I will have to schedule activities on different nights so one of us is home with her. If my allergies really flare up even with the help of all the medications, it means my body needs time away from her to rest. That might look like asking the neighbors to look after her for an hour, keeping her outside as much as possible if the weather is decent, taking her over to Tim’s parents house, or putting her in daycare.
Constant Cleaning
Keeping myself healthy and safe also includes keeping the house tidy, clean, and free of as much dog dander as possible. This looks like regularly washing blankets, vacuuming the floors and couches, Swiffering and wet mopping the floors, taking daily showers, changing my clothes or taking clothes off that have been exposed to dog dander before getting into bed, changing the air filters, using an air purifier, and keeping the windows open when the weather is decent to allow for air flow.
Arguably it’s counterintuitive and perhaps unwise to have a dog in the home when my allergies are as bad as they are. If I were living on my own, I certainly wouldn’t have any pets. But I still hold out hope that exposure therapy is the best way to become immune and that in 3, 5, 10 years time, my allergies will be close to nonexistent. At the end of the day though, she does bring a lot of joy, fun energy, and chaos to the home.